A year and a half ago, I decided to walk away from the profession I thought I’d work in until I died. I am still a teacher deep in my heart, but I realized the rest of myself wasn’t invested any more. I love the kids. I love the learning. I just didn’t love the controlled atmosphere. I thought I might take a sabbatical and return, when I had healed, after several challenging experiences, personally and professionally. Now I’m not so sure.
But this post isn’t about that. You can read more about that here. This is about how I felt after I stopped teaching. I truly didn’t know who I was any more or what I needed to do next. Truthfully, I still feel a little bit that way. But over the last fifteen months, as I’ve pondered and searched my soul, tried various options, learned new skills, and dug deeper into the core of me, I think I’ve learned something about life transitions.
But this post isn’t about that. You can read more about that here. This is about how I felt after I stopped teaching. I truly didn’t know who I was any more or what I needed to do next. Truthfully, I still feel a little bit that way. But over the last fifteen months, as I’ve pondered and searched my soul, tried various options, learned new skills, and dug deeper into the core of me, I think I’ve learned something about life transitions.
The first thing I did was rest and heal. For a few months, I did the daily basics—cooking, cleaning, reading, sleeping. I studied core books. I worked with my family. I tried not to think too much. I began dejunking my house—and my life. I asked questions like, “What are my priorities? How can I best serve those ideals? What do I like to do? What am I good at?”
So, the first truth I’ve learned is: Transitions take you back to your CORE.
So, the first truth I’ve learned is: Transitions take you back to your CORE.
More soul-searching came as I sorted through papers and clothes and books and pans. What had I done wrong? How could I prevent the hurt and the confusion I was feeling from returning? What was coming next for me? I studied photography. I practiced ballet. I contacted old friends and reviewed personality theories. I worked with a life coach. I exercised and began eating differently. I became more aware of my feelings and my reactions to those feelings. I started to see myself and those around me in a new light.
The second truth I’ve learned is: Transitions allow you to look at your SELF closely.
The second truth I’ve learned is: Transitions allow you to look at your SELF closely.
I discovered I like photography—and I’m pretty good at it. I actually won a prize in a county photography contest last spring. I realized I love being able to read and write as I feel the urge. I continued on the path to healing my body, mind, and spirit by discovering parts of myself I’d forgotten—or didn’t know I possessed.
But I also discovered I don’t like being told what to do. I value my freedom and choice. And I lack self-control—to exercise, to write, to move forward. So I need a touchstone of some sort. I returned to writing on this blog, to sift my feelings and practice my writing, to give me accountability. And I invited women I admire, and that I feel are on a similar path, to join together in a community of creators.
The third truth I’ve learned is: Transitions support your SOUL in becoming the best “you.”
I can’t say I now know who I am and what I need to do for the rest of my life. That would be naïve and probably impossible. But I have come to believe this last year that I will continually struggle to uncover my true self and fulfill my purpose. There is no “Estimated Time of Arrival” for when that will be accomplished. I will always be learning new things, discovering talents and truths I didn’t know I possessed, working on challenges, and striving toward dreams.
But I also discovered I don’t like being told what to do. I value my freedom and choice. And I lack self-control—to exercise, to write, to move forward. So I need a touchstone of some sort. I returned to writing on this blog, to sift my feelings and practice my writing, to give me accountability. And I invited women I admire, and that I feel are on a similar path, to join together in a community of creators.
The third truth I’ve learned is: Transitions support your SOUL in becoming the best “you.”
I can’t say I now know who I am and what I need to do for the rest of my life. That would be naïve and probably impossible. But I have come to believe this last year that I will continually struggle to uncover my true self and fulfill my purpose. There is no “Estimated Time of Arrival” for when that will be accomplished. I will always be learning new things, discovering talents and truths I didn’t know I possessed, working on challenges, and striving toward dreams.
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